The Calls I Get at 2am
Nothing Good Happens After Midnight, a List of 2am Calls
Lists
03/15/2024
- I’m stuck in the mountains and won’t make my shift
- The wind set off the kitchen motion detector
- A mouse set off the kitchen motion detector
- A burglar set off the kitchen motion detector
- The snow has taken down your awning, which crashed through your windows
- Collect phonecall from jail
- When I return from Mexico, I’ll have another name
- Your manager is asleep in my bar
- Your manager is locked in our bathroom
- Police here responding to an alarm. This couple is naked and they claim they work for you?
- Police here. There’s a boy dressed as a knight claiming to be your son?
- Police here. There’s a group playing Dungeons and Dragons and who say they work for you?
- Fire department here. The stocks were left on high and there’s a fire in your kitchen
- The upstairs pipes burst
- It’s snowing in the bar
- We can’t find Anne
- Frankie, bro, I need more coke (manager calling wrong Frank)
- There’s a bomb in the hotel next door
- The ceiling collapsed
- I’m closing up alone and someone’s playing the piano in the foyer
- The safe is gone
- Someone just took the taxidermy from the bathroom wall and is running down the alley with it
- Public relations director for (famous band) looking for a place our group can unwind after the show
- Someone’s overdosing on the patio
- Joe and Sarah had a boy
- I quit